Catherine Stothart | How to Get on With Anyone
We were joined in the studio by Catherine Stothart talking about her new bookHow to Get on With Anyone. Catherine works as a Consultant, Coach and Team Facilitator with major organisations, currently with Airbus and Audi UK, and previously including Astra Zeneca and United Utilities.
Catherine joined us to talk about her new book – How to Get on With Anyone
Hello, I’m Catherine Stothart and my book is called how to get on with anyone. It’s a practical guide to building better relationships with other people whether at work or at home, and it’s full of activities case studies and tips on what to do and say in different situations. When we communicate with other people,
we usually have a positive intention. However, sometimes the way we come across can have a negative impact on the people that we’re communicating with. And so there’s a gap between what we intended by our behavior and the impact we achieved, and I call this the influence Gap.
So if you know how you’re coming across then you can adapt that and you can also pick up cues from other people’s behavior about their intentions when they’re communicating with you so that you can respond more appropriately. So my book is about the four styles that people tend to fall into when they interact with others each cell has benefits and pitfalls and the four styles are called.
Navigator, mobilizer, energizer and synthesizer. I’m going to give you a quick overview of the four styles and now starting with Navigator. So for a navigator their intention when they communicate with other people is to have a plan. So if there’s a goal to be achieved they like to work out the course of action to achieve it.
It’s almost as if in their heads they’ve got something saying what’s the plan.
So they like to work out a course of action and they get stressed if they don’t know what’s going to happen. Navigators energy comes across as very focused the sort of energy you might have if you’re revising for an exam, they come across as quite serious, calm and methodical. But they can also come across as too serious, rigid and pedantic.
So if you’re a navigator, then you may want to lighten up a little bit, show more warmth, smile more and engaging social chitchat and if you’re living or working with a navigator, then it’s a good idea to let them know what’s going to happen. So that removes that stress from them. The second style is called mobilizer.
And mobilizers like to get action with results. So if there’s a Target to be achieved they like to go straight for it. So in their heads they’ve probably got something like let’s do it now.
So they like to get action with results that’s their intention, and they get stressed if they feel that nothing’s being accomplished perhaps of discussions going on too long, or they going over the same ground. Mobilizers energy comes across as very determined, the sort of energy you might have if you’re in a hurry to get somewhere. They come across a straightforward, direct and they tend to move and speak quite quickly.
However, they can also come across as too impatient and demanding so if your an immobilizer then you may need to slow down a little bit, ask other people for it for their ideas instead of telling them what to do. And if you’re living or working with immobilizer, then it’s a good idea to let them know what you’re doing and by when so they won’t feel stress from not knowing what’s happening.
Right. The third style is Energizer.
And energizers like involvement. They like to be involved themselves and they like to get other people involved. They’re a bit like cheerleaders.
And in their heads, they’ve probably got something, theircatch phrase would be let’s do it together.
So they get stressed when other people don’t want to be involved. Their energy comes across as very engaging the sort of energy you might have if you’re hosting a party they tend to be very persuasive, enthusiastic and expressive. But they can also come across as creating a chaotic atmosphere and perhaps losing sight of the goal or the target that they’re trying to achieve. And the people working with them can can also get confused about what actually they’re trying to achieve.
So if you’re an Energizer then again, it’s a good idea to slow down say less and listen more. And if you’re working with an Energizer then show enthusiasm for their ideas and tell them that you want to be involved, that will help you get on better with them. The fourth style is called synthesizer,
and synthesizers like to get the best result possible. So not just a quick result like the mobilizer or a planned result like Navigator or result that everyone’s involved in like the Energizer. They want to get the best results. So their focus is, what results do we need.
And in order to get that best results, they need to gather information from lots of different sources and they need to get input from lots of people. So if they have a goal to achieve it can look as though their meandering around in order to to achieve that goal. They get stressed when they don’t have enough time to gather all the information and input or where they don’t get credit for their efforts, synthesizes energy comes across as very approachable the sort of energy that you might have if you were listening to somebody and they tend to be good listeners.
They are usually patient and friendly and a little bit unassuming, but they can also come across as indecisive and just taking too long and perhaps not being assertive enough. So if you’re a synthesizer, then you may need to make an effort to be more assertive and be more decisive and tell people when you’ve made decisions. And if you’re living or working with a synthesizer, then it’s a good idea to, if you can to give them enough time to gather all that information and input and give them credit for their efforts.
So that’s a quick overview of the four styles and you can see how by adapting your style to connect better with other people, you can close that that influence Gap. And in my book, I also cover aspects like self-confidence, Charisma, being an engaging communicator and being resilience and re-energizing so that you cannot just get on with other people, but get on well with yourself too.
Thank you very much.